Optimism is one of those things that sounds great in theory, like a salad in a diner—everyone says it’s good for you, but nobody really wants it. You order a cheeseburger, and they slide that sad bowl of lettuce next to the glorious cheeseburger with a grin that reeks of “Here’s your healthy option!” Meanwhile, I’m staring at the lettuce and think to myself, “If a head of lettuce had Bambi eyes we’d not eat it.” I stand by this sentiment. If vegetables were at all cute, we’d have difficulty eating them.

Let’s talk about optimism. The world is a chaotic place—like my beloved mother driving through a car wash. (The car emerges with dents and cracks.)  She’s not one of these people who is convinced she can fix anything with positive thinking. That said, her sentiment leans towards “Oh, honey, you lost your job? Think of it as a blessing in disguise!” A blessing in disguise? Last time I checked, I wasn’t looking for work as a magician. And bless Mom’s heart, she’s capable of finding the positivity in my negative experiences. “Don’t give your energy to the negative options.” I’m thinking, “Yes Mom, if we all deny the possibility of what could go wrong, then maybe nothing will ever go wrong again.”

Optimism is like that cousin who insists on taking the scenic route on a road trip. Sure, it might be beautiful, but you know the others in the car are thinking, “It’s just going to take longer to get to the bar.” She’ll chime in after every corner, “Look at these lovely trees!” The others in the car, again, collectively think,  “Yeah, but look at my watch. Are the trees going to pay for my drinks?” I mean, can we just accept that life is a series of unfortunate events punctuated by moments of joy? It’s like ordering a cake and realizing it’s all frosting and no cake. Just sugar and delusion. And butter.

Then there’s the concept of “silver linings.” We all know someone who can find the silver lining in anything. “Oh, you broke your leg? At least you’ll get to skip leg day at the gym!” Sweetheart, I wasn’t planning on leg day anyway. Who made this rule that we have to put a positive spin on everything? If my dog eats my homework, I don’t need a motivational poster telling me, “At least he’s learning to chew!” I just need a new piece of paper.

Let’s not forget about social media optimism. You scroll through Instagram and it’s like a never-ending-parade of perfect lives. “Look at my breakfast!” It’s a pancake stacked higher than my hopes and dreams. Meanwhile, my breakfast? What breakfast?

But here’s the thing: maybe a little optimism isn’t all bad. It’s like the extra basil and oregano in my secret recipe—not technically necessary, but somehow it makes my tomato sauce magical. Or, as others might hint, just a tad more bearable. We can laugh about it, even when life throws us curveballs. It’s the laughter that really keeps us going, after all. So let’s embrace the chaos, keep our eyes on the prize (preferably a prize that comes with chocolate cake), and remember that life’s absurdity is what makes it worth living.

Optimism is like a well-meaning friend who brings a salad to a barbecue: nice in theory, but let’s not forget the burgers. Cheers to finding humor in the mess, and may we always have enough chocolate cake to drown out the rest!